Babysitting stories

Our good friend, "Uncle John" helped out this week, picking the boys up from school, taking them to soccer, and feeding them dinner.  What a star!!  When I came home from my appointments to take over parenting, John said, "everything went fine.  I'm going home now.  Talk to you later."  OK.  The boys were tired and were asleep instantly.

The next day, I receive an email from John relaying a few more of the details from the evening...


John wrote:

I got a wee bit worried for a bit there...the walk home started with a Tobin crash...this is where my caring and nurturing side comes out

"is your nose bleeding?"

"noooooo"

"can you wiggle your face?"

"yaaaa waaaaa"

"you'll be ok...by the time we get home it won't hurt anymore"

..a few more antics on the way home(I seem to remember Nick getting tangled up in a soccer net like a duck in a six-pack holder) then they both bee-line to the back yard for a group pee. I'm worried that things have gone feral too early in the evening.

..turn oven on, herd them inside, Tobin crashes again

"are you bleeding?"

"noooooo"

"Oh good, maybe get ready for dinner then...go wash your hands"

"Nick! where are you...?"

"out here"

"come on in"

"I can't get down"

"down from where?"....I go pluck him off his perch.

"how did you get up there? now put your backpack away and go wash up"

"No!"

"Yes, now." success...the only compromise was shoes outside instead of in...which seemed fine since I was wrong...all the shoes were outside.

serve up some salad...they argue, Tobin wants privacy to poo. Nick runs off.

now they're both gone...Tobin pooing and Nick, I don't know.

Tobin emerges, I serve up the salad..."chicken fingers coming soon...I forgot to turn the other knob on the oven. Chicken don't have fingers."

"I'm done!..."

"I'M DONE!..."

"I'M DONE!..."

"Tobin, what's Nick saying that for?"

"He's done pooing, you need to wipe his bum"

"you're kidding, do I have to wipe is bum for real?"

...laughing..."Ya"

eventually all is well and dinner is served. some experiments are done with the water and salt. some other experiments with ketchup are kyboshed before they start. wine is drunk.

Nick thinks he's Zorro with his fork, Tobin is getting energy back...on the verge of a lord of the flies style revolt.

"guys, stop eating like maniacs" says I, mimicking a maniac...erroneously, as this now becomes the sole topic of dinner as they take turns pretending to be 'maniacs'. More dangerous fork-play has me bargaining / ordering that the fork is to be pointed down...."like a spear fisherman". As I explain to Nick, Tobin stands on the table "like a maniac".

I try and get them to eat like "kings"...dainty-like, and silly. It words for 10 seconds then back to maniacs. Somewhere in the din I hear Tobin say something like "I'll be king of kings.....I'll be GOD!".

All food is eaten, cookies are delivered via a lego truck on the table, more wine and settled in for TinTin and wine.

I did, however, forget to put them in jammies...they were so still and subdued for TinTin I totally forgot!
It's totally fun once in a while...but I have no idea how you guys make it when you're alone for days and days! Wine and TinTin, I guess.